Separation causes emotional and financial worries

separationAs a 49-year-old with 26 years of professional writing experience, this probably is one of the hardest articles I’ve ever had to write. But I guess I’m going to share this with you because it can happen to anyone at any time. My entire financial life and emotional life have been thrown off completely.

My husband of almost 20 years walked out on me and my two kids a month ago. He left for a younger woman who he claims he just loves with all his heart. Wow. What a sudden blow to my psyche, confidence and financial footing. The aftershocks continue each day. But each day, I also learn that I can get through this with so much support from family and friends, and a lot of hard work on my part.

The details keep coming out about what he has been doing financially and affair-wise with this woman. It’s not a pretty picture. But I’m not a fool anymore. He moved into his own apartment. So, at least my food bill and electricity bill are going down with only two of us living in our house now.

With all the other financial parts of my life, I’m just up in the air about everything. He claims he will help with expenses for my youngest son and me. I’m just wondering where all of a sudden he found money for things like an apartment and gasoline money to travel to his girlfriend’s house 4 hours away.

And to add to everything else, I have no idea where Scott’s second semester bill will be coming from in January. Scott will be working at the plastics factory again for a few weeks during his long holiday break. But I think we’ll still be a few thousand dollars short.

I’m trying to save money and putting it away for a rainy day, but it’s going to be a tough road. I’m taking on more freelance writing jobs and I continue working part-time at a real estate office designing and writing brochures, flyers and ads.

I can’t always just send Scott $20 here and there like I had the first six weeks. Budget constraints and fear that my financial future is going to be bleak for awhile are causing me to keep everything to a minimum.

Another problem is that I’ve lost over 120 pounds in five months. So, I have very few clothes. Thank heavens for the Goodwill stores and second hand stores, and the generous spirit of some of my friends. Being on a strict diet also reduces my food bill because I really don’t eat that much.

I have absolutely no idea what a divorce will do to my financial standing. His debt on the farm scares me completely. He claims he’ll take all that debt that he acquired. That doesn’t mean the judge will agree with that if I’m making a good living. And who knows how much child support he’ll end up having to pay. I do know he’ll have to dish out one-third of Scott’s college bill. That’s the law.

So, I’m just going to watch every bill and every dollar I spend in the next few months. I also will be looking for a full-time writing or marketing job in my area. I will lose my insurance once the divorce is final. I just have to keep my head up, keep my health up and be the best Mom I can be.

So for all of you going through such big changes in life like me, I truly understand all the pain, financial impact and worries that come.


Paying for the Second Year